I ejected a drunken friend from my wedding. I specifically warned him beforehand that he was not going to ruin my wife’s day by getting shit-hammered and acting the fool. A few hours in and he was being a stootz, giving women “lap dances” and generally making a spectacle of himself. Had to toss him and he still whines…

“My brother-in-law dressed his kids in flat bill ball caps and basketball shorts”...I’d have tossed them out. Kids or not, you merit respect and clearly this asswipe didn’t give a shit.

This happened to me once. Obummer crashed my wedding, seized all our gifts and re-distributed them to lazy minorities who lacked the ambition to go out and hold their own wedding. I was so outraged I went out and bought twenty three guns for our new household, before he stages another hoax shooting and takes them all.

I’m old enough to remember a time when NFL games didn’t stop every sixty seconds so some boring 65 year old attorney could stick his head under a shroud then solemnly announce that the receiver’s left pinkie finger brushed across a blade of grass before he had total and complete control of the football so therefore…