Besides, if you let your kid watch Pirates of the Caribbean hasn’t that ship sailed? Captain Jack Sparrow is drunk or getting there throughout the films and that’s not counted against him at all.

A brief list of counterpoints to the obvious complaints about this change:

So they went from selling women to selling chicks? Seems a bit regressive to me but, who am I to cry fowl?

My one wish on NYE 2018 was, “Man, I hope 2018 is less of a clusterfuck than 2017". So far...my wish hasn’t been coming true.

Any other jezzie lawyers sign up for lawyers.com? Our small firm signed up the first year that I started private practice 4 years ago. The leads were people wanting free legal advice and never led to a paying client. We also got the occasional 3 page emails explaining how everyone was out to get them. I was so glad…

Don’t be too sure about the “regular person” still being in jail. A fellow derby girl (in Tulsa) is in ICU right now with a broken pelvis and lacerated bladder due to a drunk driver...

I was super suprised when I saw that lawyers.com was working with Lindsay and Bernie, as I used to work for them and this just did not match the corporate climate I worked in. They wanted James Earl Jones as their spokesperson then! But then I realized this is lawyer.com not lawyers.com so since they named their…

Kirsten Dunst once brought up that when she wasn’t filming her parents made her go to an actual school and it probably helped her out. Since after kids get over the fact of her fame they just treated her equal and she had a semi normal life alongside the child celebrity stuff.

They also plan to use Bernie Madoff in the future. I would totally call them, wouldn’t you? A Dubai shoot sounds so legit.

As a lawyer, this embarrasses me.

Years of hard partying/drugs/drinking really do a number on the skin.

She looks great and I’m glad she’s getting work. But the glossing over the DUIs is really irritating given the fact a regular person would still be under the jail for half the crimes she committed. She ran over a human being with her car! So she can fuck right off with the giggling.

I’m happy for her and empathize with present and former child stars.

I mean, she *is* the poster child for legal work triumphing over justice...

Yeah, those “bloopers” are about as spontaneous as the ones at the end of Toy Story.

I think she has the chops to sound like Garland after years of heavy drinking, pills and all that jazz.

“Get ready for the Renéessance”

The Amazon narrative isn’t really true in this one specific instance. This was Bain Capital hollowing them out with debt so they could never invest in improvements, until the business became unsustainable in the face of new challenges

I’ll tell ya, nothing beat going up to the video game section of Toys R’ Us, looking at all the game box-art locked behind thick glass, picking out the slip of paper of the game you’d been wanting ever since that kid at your school told you about it, or being bummed out if there weren’t any slips of paper and going…

YES! I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, and that’s it exactly. The others bear a passing-to-decent resemblance, but she’s a miss.