I bought a 9,000lb pickup with a 400lb ranchhand bumper; not because I drive through a cattle ranch, but because I have to drive through Naperville.

There's nothing like driving around in a 10-year-old luxury sedan and just knowing that, at any moment, your air suspension could break and cost approximately one-and-a-half NA Miatas to replace. Fortunately, you won't have that problem with this particular 2006 Audi A8 if you spring for the CarMax warranty, which…

Ah Naperville, home of weird people and shitty drivers.

I don't get it. Can you elaborate on how the salesman 'declined to return your license'? He just said 'no, fuck you, I'm keeping it'?

I am a rapid asshole over lanesplitting when you try to lanesplit with my dually on the highway; otherwise I have no problem with it.

Tough shit. I guess "just doing my job" is only valid when critiqued.

And the worst of the bunch: attorneys. I kid, I kid. :)

Obligatory @Doug DeMuro

Are you seriously advocating for JAIL TIME for driving 60mph through the city?

Yes, I recall he only used them for a very small segment of the journey; at least that's how the 'documentary' presented it. @Dough DeMuro can you please pester @Alex Roy for a release date of the TRUE documentary.

Hmm.. I wonder the feasibility of bringing a plane along for the entire journey as a cop-spotter; or if having to plan for airport stops hinders the overall time too greatly.

This is awesome. I would love to see a google maps speed 'heat map' overlay similar to their current traffic overlay; green indicating the higher speeds and fading to red for the slower side of things.

I sometimes daily drive a lowered "CR-X"/Del Sol and a 95 EG hatchback which are approximately the same size as the CRX. My commute is about 75 miles round trip highway door-to-door. The thing drives like a champ. Yes, you occasionally get the asshat who will try to merge into you., and yes you do get 'bullied' in…

I'd like another one that says "You vs. 9,000lb truck"

Yeah seriously? What about my well-being as a human?!

No reasonable expectation to privacy in a public setting.

Please send me a description of places you park; need some cushioning for my truck.

My I propose a simple solution? Don't lose the fucking bag.

Why? Do you believe all 'ghetto ass bangers' are of a certain race? If so, irony is calling..

You're doing the Lord's work son.