Agree with your version of what the movie’s theme actually is.

.......................I still wish Bravo would give her a show called “Martha Judges Your Life,” in which, each week Martha spends 3 days with some rando and absolutely destroys/suggests improvements to their lives: their family, their wardrobe, their décor, their interests, their friends, their lot in…

Oh boo hoo. Damn near everyone in corporate America has to go through trainings like this, often every year. 

My buddy got a flat outside of Denver. Instead of calling the tow truck he got on his phone and used Prime Now. He ordered an air compressor, hand sanitizer, and a box of Wheat Thins. It only took 22 minutes to get the delivery to his car along side the road. 10 minutes to re-fill his tire and he was on his way.

I’ll generally narrow it down to 2-3 choices and reserve my final decision until the server is looking at me awaiting my order.

It is one of the few places I’ve been that is actually as gorgeous as every picture makes it seem. No filters or lighting needed, it’s perfect.

Mitt Romney was thrilled to be at a game featuring his long time favourite team...*checks jersey* the Jazz at a game in his beloved home state of *checks drivers license* Utah.

through Times Square at 40-50 mph, dodging pedestrians by inches

My Daughter has dated her boyfriend for over a year

Or when someone eats too much chocolate cake. Or when someone eats too much chocolate cake and barfs it up.

He’s pissing in the corner of God’s house now.

First of all, how dare you?

Tokyo Joe addiction? Oh, I get it. You mean like when someone drinks too much? Or snorts cocaine? Or bets the house on the ponies?

It’s an “illusion.” A trick is something a whore does for money, remember?

It kind of sounds like you should not be allowed to drive

“My bad. I got the scores right, I got the winner wrong.”

Which long awaited sequel was the most disappointing for everyone?

Blunt Guts is the name of my Phish cover band.

I have never...attempted to gain a competitive advantage.