I vote for totally honest: "I really wish that I could join you but I just can't afford it right now :( I'm looking forward to celebrating with you at the wedding!"

Tell your friends, tell your friends, tell your friends. I'm certain a few have noticed her behavior, too. As itscocopop said, don't tell her husband. That will lead up to many problems. You don't deserve to go through this and neither do others.

I think Elihu doesn't understand Indian food, and that someone didn't just buy some powdered gravy mix at the supermarket and dump it on his plate.* Also Nathaniel? If the meat is grey, it's not good. Cooking the grey out of it is just charring the fuck out of shitty beef that is on the edge of spoiling. And they…

The Manager asked if I wanted a cookie......

I read this entire thing imagining the husband and wife team that run Vows from I Found the Gown.

it's not just the agelessness, it's the inhuman perfection. Speaking as a human currently in the shape of blob, she seems supernatural.

The worst is when you have a control freak boss who "doesn't believe" in working from home. Basically because they can't see how much you're squirming from their petty little demands and faux emergencies if you're not in the cube right outside their office. There is no escape!

I spent a year traveling by myself, I loved it. I often met people along the way and would travel with them for awhile and then move on. The great thing is, if you get sick of someone you can just change your plans a little and dump them, whereas you get sick of your friends you are kind of stuck with them. I love…

To Blake's PR reps: I know you're reading this. I'm going to break some shit down below but before I do, I want to ask you to please PLEASE go into politics or philanthropy or something where you are able to change the lives of people in need. I say this because you are CLEARLY AMAZING AT YOUR JOB and could sell…

My baby girl has a cart, and is doing so well! She will be 16 in December, and her recovery is amazing! ETA, we're going to the beach next month and she's going to have so much fun, she loves water and chasing things. She'll be able to run so fast on the wet, packed sand, but we'll carry her on the dry sand. We have…

Of all the arguments people have thrown at me to try to convince me to have kids, this is by far the worst. Kids aren't extensions of their parents; they are people, individuals who are going to leave their own mark on the world. They shouldn't be brought into the world to serve as a living shrine to the people that…

Vaginal play is pretty fucking weird too. That's where blood and mucus and clots and babies come out. The human body is strange and gross and wonderful.

Please also try to attend the Airing of Grievances About the Wedding Presents, about a month after the actual wedding.

Dear Close Friend,

My worst roommate was back in about 2005/06 when I rented out a house with my best friend and her church friend. It was a little of a weird combination to have a gay man (myself) and two liquor-drinking GCBs. We'll refer to my friend as Sam, and her church friend as Anne.

Oh wow, I knew there'd come a day to bring out this one. I've had a dirty roommates, pervy roommates, the roommate who discovered heroin one summer, but none of them came close in sheer WTFness to my first ever roommate; my stalker.

A few years ago my boyfriend and I both lost our jobs at the same time and decided we should rent out the extra bedroom. I knew of a girl who was currently not getting along with her current roommate for what seemed like silly issues and invited her to move in with us for just 3 months while she found another place.…

We shared an apartment and the address was 1300 Elm St. Truly a nightmare on Elm Street.

A history of every roommate I've ever had:

I'm a lesbian, trapped in an abusive relationship with a partner I've been trying to leave for four years now, and these really resonated with me, even though they're for straight women. I was surprised. I guess they speak to the way you start out on a pedestal (and how gendered that pedestal tends to be in abusive…