You know, for a second there, I thought you might be going for an actual headline, but then I kept reading and, well, I’m still not convinced it’s made up.

I can’t fucking stand that corpulent, conspiracy peddling, bulldog jowled, balding, paranoid, small dicked, unstable, proudly stupid, retrograde, racist, sexist, man tit having, xenophobic, homophobic, islamophobic, truthphobic, sociopathic, snake oil selling, blood sucking, gun stroking, jiggling bullshit salesman…

Alex Jones is probably the craziest media person out there. I know most of it is bull but Crazy Days and Nights had an absolutely bananas blind item about Alex Jones. It said that Joaquin Phoenix had to take out a restraining order against him because Alex Jones was convinced he was River Phoenix (his death had been…

That jiggling psycho is only apologizing because now infowars is being investigated in the russia thing. He’s not genuinely sorry. Btw Alex, when are you gonna get around to apologizing for making sandy hook survivors and family members lives a living hell?

Standing up for what they believe in. How un-American.

And that’s how things changed.

They were warned. It was explained to them. Still, they persisted.

hahaha what a weirdo! well done! I like how it’s all satire until the last paragraph which is a very serious paragraph about the hottest thing imaginable in any scenario. really well done.

Chill out, Darren Wilson. You probably shouldn’t be positing on this site.

This was funny, Me!

No. That’s the whole point. I AM home in California, because that’s where I’m born and bred! Your backwoods, cousin-porking, source-of-pride slave-owning, confederate-flag-flying, booger-eating, clinging-to-the-days-it-was-a-source-of-pride-to-own-other-HUMAN-BEINGS ancestors are YOUR PROBLEM.

Except you get to keep your all your income, you get to protect the environment like you want, you get to keep as many immigrants as you choose, and you have the 8th largest economy in the world, ample crop space, and ready access to shipping lanes.

Pretty sure Canada’s supplying more of California’s water than you guys are.

It may not be impossible, but it would be very stupid.

WHAT ARE THESE WORDS

Apparently my plan is going through the stones in Scotland, ending up in 18th century and meeting someone named Jamie.

None of my dystopian novels predicted rouge park rangers leading the resistance on Twitter. . .

I am not a parent. However plan on being sooner than later. I would never read a diary or journal or whatever, but you think checking their phones, or having some sort of spyware (I don’t really know what it is called) on their computer is out of bounds? I would feel bad, but I think i would do it.

My mother was like that. I’m not a psychopath and we’re not close

Yeah, definitely risk ruining any chance of a positive, trusting relationship with your kid on the offchance (idk, what, a .001% chance?) that he or she is running around randomly murdering people...