Actually first they came for the mimes but everyone was pretty okay with that.

So you’re saying I shouldn’t dress like a clown for Halloween.

Why is this phenomenon expanding? Auguste was over a month ago.

I’m all for gun control, but in this time of national crisis, I make an exception.

My cousin and I racked up a $500 phone bill from calling a sex hotline. We didn’t say anything, just listened to this woman talk and talk about touching herself. And eventually we ran off without hanging up the phone. My aunt’s phone company agreed to cut the charges down to like $50 because even the sex hotline…

I worked for AT&T in the 90's doing inbound customer service. 900 calls were the best. Trying to explain to a mom that yes dozens of calls made to an adult line where dialed from home during after school hours and yes her 14 yr old son did call no matter what he says. Or I’ve got girls they wouldn’t call porn. Maybe…

That’s him? Wow, he must have bet his neck on the hard eight and lost.

Taylor Swift, Jerry Seinfeld, and Celine Dion.

we should all donate to her! that sort of style deserves a little cash. can we donate out of state?

“Billy Long” sound like a fake name you use to check into a Vegas hotel with a hooker.

Can you actually imagine Jezebel publishing an article entitled “Could X’s Sexual Assault Accusation Have Been Staged?”

Going to get a lot of use out of this.

Exactly! Trumpsters only listen to what Trump, a notorious liar, claims is his money worth: ‘billions’. No one else has ever backed up what he has claimed he’s worth. Trumpsters believe, even with all his business failures, lies, cons, frauds, and thefts of millions, he will still save them and make THEM money.…

But he built things. Tremendous things. The best things you have ever seen. So despite repeated failures, inability to tell the truth, total self-absorption, no public service experience and apparent lack of raw intelligence, he should be our president.
Now barfing and shitting at what I just wrote.

If you send things back multiple times at your OWN restaurant it gives the people you’re with the impression that the food is not good. The very people you are trying to impress.

The man failed miserably selling gambling, football, and steak.

This left me feeling gross. She’s a kid for fucks sake. She shouldn’t be saving her family from bankruptcy.

2016: The year full of things nobody asked for.

I don’t want to know what’s under that box.

What does her being likable and sympathetic have to do with anything?She could be the biggest cunt in the world, it still won’t make her a murderer.