Wow, slow news day, huh?

Literally every time I think about them getting married alone under Niagara Falls, I get chills. Like right now. Or when they find out they’re pregnant in the ER. I love them so much it’s probably kind of unhealthy tbh.

who among us doesn’t weep every time he kisses her at casino night... or tells her he’s in love with her... or proposes in the rain at the gas station?

yes. kevin realizes that’s their initials when he’s trying to figure out if they’re dating.

if by “we” you mean, you & the turd in your pocket, then “we” all agree.

I thought he was perfect for Jim.

Very appropriate username though!

Nah just Chipotle statements. Priorities.

Well, we really only have ourselves to blame, wouldn’t you say?

Daniel Franzese says Bijou Phillips was so mean to him that he suffered PTSD.

That’s just queso. It always looks like barf.

Not to even marginally defend her but to be fair she hasn’t done anything outrageous or actively lessened the office she holds like literally every other fucker out of that family (to the best of my knowledge anyhow).

Ivanka is flotus.

I meant the look on my face. DAMMIT.

And a coworker of mine said to me after we watched that news “Yeah well why didn’t they report it when it happened?” as if that negated the veracity of the young man’s story.

It looks like he caught what Steve Bannon has.

Have you seen the AMAZING competitive tickling documentary. Absolutely disturbing and absurd in the best possible way.

Perez Hilton seems to be a victim of Time’s wrath, too.

I’m wondering how inebriated or how heavy of a sleeper this guy is that he didn’t feel someone putting something to his finger. But I’m cursed with waking up when someone like, breathes too heavily so maybe I’m just jealous.

You only have to graze nuts to make a guy feel like he wants to vomit. But for it to actually trigger the vom reflex, your strike has to be on point, accurate, and either ferociously hard and sharp, or savagely strong and grippy for a few seconds.