I like going to the beach, but I do hate other people going to the beach too.

I love the ocean. The beach can fuck off, though.

Ocean Shores is a low key paradise.

See, the secret is to go to the Pacific NW coast. Much more interesting to look at than more southerly beaches, and cooler, too. Might want to bring a parka, though.

You are not alone. Some of us would rather look at the beach out of the window of our cars.

Only starred for the first two sentences ;)

Sigh. Jaden. What an entitled, uneducated little prick. If the hotel kicked you out, I’m sure it was for good reason.

Ryan Seacrest is upset that Katy Perry is being offered way (waaaay) more to do American Idol than he is. [Page Six]

Yeah, Cosby, because the thought of someone making you ingest something against your will and knowledge is pretty fucking horrifying, huh?

I actually ordered pancakes with ricotta cheese yesterday ON PURPOSE and they were incredibly delicious.

We hit 16 years in a week. The more time I spend with him, the less I can imagine ever not wanting to be with him. I guess we are lucky. And also I legit married the best person in the world.

As an always stylish person, I will attest to this. Bad dye jobs can be pulled off with a little effort. For example, the act of pulling on a pair of jogging pants in the morning can be a real effort.

How does Messing LIVE? She’s allergic to my three top favorite things in the world!

You guys need to cater your celebrity gossip pieces more to my demographic. I don’t want to have to google who these people to understand what’s going on.

I really cannot stand the idea that the only way feminism will succeed is if women never have interpersonal conflict or something. Fuck off.

When was Kevin Bacon’s Last Fuckable Day?

Because anyone who doesn’t worship Taylor Swift must be a Katy superfan. Yep, that checks out.

Corden said to his famous passenger, “There’s no denying it. There’s Taylor beef. And when are we going to clear that beef up?”

um rude.

But Katy’s releasing it now only weeks after Bon Appetit because the other singles have tanked and she’s looking for a profile bump via controversy. She needs this track to catch fire because, otherwise, her new album is looking more and more like a non-starter before it has even been released.