Has a heart attack after watching *45 get handcuffed and dragged out of the Oval Office.

Hyperbaric decompression torture.

Slowly. Over 20 years, paralyzed from the neck down but with the ability to feel itchiness and have an erection which he can do fuck all about. In a bed of ants.

While walking the dog this morning my wife and I mused about what would be the appropriate punishment for Ailes in the afterlife. At the end of the discussion I concluded “You know what? I’m sure Satan’s got this covered.”

Death in deep poverty from a treatable disease without access to health care because the treatable disease was a preexisting condition.

Being pushed down a huge flight of stairs by his victims.

Watching all of his money get stolen by the Russians once they take over the banks as a result of his influence. Then dying from various painful ailments while begging for change on the streets in front of Fox News headquarters.

The good news is that this scenario isn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility just yet:

Hopefully drawn-out, in tremendous pain, all alone.

Add the vague smell of stale urine and you got me.

Jesus. This made me laugh. See you in hell.

His pops pulled out and the would-be Roger Ailes turned in to a stain on the sofa.

anything more exciting than what he got, which was some too-clever-by-half aspiring-novelist-type shit

Abortion.

22 years ago.

gout

Skull fucked to death by a gang white nationalists who discover he’s 25% black.

Slipped on baby oil while in his Gimp Suit because the sheep bucked to hard.

Slowly. Painfully. Like watching Hannity.

Waterboarded to death by pissing Russian prostitutes.