I was in the middle of typing “Bernie Sandbirds” with a HUGE smirk on my face until I saw this and I now feel incredibly inadequate...

If Bernie doesn’t get nominated, I guess I’m staying home. No way am I choosing between Hillary and Donald. Sorry America, and sorry to Virginia, where I live

By the tenets of bird law, I’m pretty sure that makes Bernie the Democratic nominee.

Given that Sanders is more progressive than Clinton in civil liberty and social welfare issues, it seems to me that minority voters who support Clinton over Sanders are really shooting themselves in their own feet here.

I know that Gawker now wants to cover politics but I also know that all of us readers of Jezebel prefer to read about shity GOP candidates not even reacting to this shooting at The Slot.

“Especially for those (of) us in the pro-life movement”

Hello no haters please and thank you

Let’s get this straight: a married guy with small kids spends Thanksgiving sneaking off to send texts to his girlfriend...

Wait, you’re still together?

This was my first year back home for Thanksgiving in 6 years. It was supposed to be a joyous event for all of us since we were all finally back together after so long. Hahahahahahaha. NOPE. My mother decided to start a fight with me this morning over something stupid that she made up in her head. I’m 31 but she still…

I’ll be very honest, and while you know the game and the players better than I do, I’ve read similar stories to this where you turn out to be the side piece, and there was never going to be an actual divorce.

This story only starts out like a horror story. It was horrible for me at the time. My boyfriend and I were celebrating our first Thanksgiving together. It was also just a couple years since my Mom died, a loss which had blasted a huge hole in our family. We scattered after that and had Thanksgivings either alone or…

When I was maybe ten, we went to visit my aunt’s family for thanksgiving. My great grandmother was there. She had been raised in the south somewhere and was pretty senile. My aunt was married to a black guy, and they had three kids. Over dinner, my great grandmother said loudly, “isn’t it nice of (aunt) to adopt all…

This is a sad, not funny story, but Thanksgiving is always a little bittersweet for me because it was the holiday I realized my first marriage was over.

You see, young Elvis was a tricky little brat. In Kindergarten, I was riding home with my dad, brother and brother’s classmate. My brother’s classmate was going to be doing a Thanksgiving play, and I decided that I wanted to be in one too! The catch was, it was Tuesday evening, and tomorrow was the day of said play I…

I can sympathize. As a teen, I once got my mom fancy soaps for her fall birthday, which she then gave to me as a donation for the pre-Christmas soap-drive at my school. That said, passive aggression is a huge improvement from a woman who repeatedly left the house in a rage over inadequate gifts (once, it was leather…

I’ve never done it but when I see that I always want to act like, yes, I seriously think cars should be banned. First, people are killed by them every day by the dozens, easily. Second, they are terrible for the environment. Third, they are expensive and become literal trash once they stop running. I say ban cars,…

okay but that officer is hot tho right

Whatever. Fuck these people and their fucking gadgets. I'm not here to throw shade on you if fitness isn't your thing. So move along if you watch HoC while eating a tub of tres leches cake. Life is short, I'm glad you found your way to forget we are all headed to the grave.

The shame factor of those things is no joke. I lost mine and actually ended up replacing it because seeing how goddamn low those numbers were now that I work in an office terrified the shit out of me. Not having them shoved in my face multiple times a day made it easier to be in denial.