Sounds like you meet the criteria, though.

Rebekahzula Mercer: I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing. So you’ve had to struggle and connive and claw your way to power. But true power, the divine right to rule, is something you’re born with. The truth is: they don’t know which one of us is going to be sitting down on that throne,…

Deadspin’s coverage is already wide left.

With a little time zone hustle you could get hit by the 3:35 bus several times.

Because you shouldn’t mock people by comparing them to a separate group who have no power to change that identifying trait. When everyone uses the name for a group of people, like the mentally challenged, as an insult for others, you’re mocking both the target and that other group of people. And that latter group has…

Best Christmas song. Christmas songs never have enough horns.

Jeter will bring A-Rod on board, but then refuse to allow him to perform whatever business skills he’s better suited to perform than Jeter.

michelle obama sure seemed to think the position had responsibilities, and i, for one, thank her for her herculean efforts.

Turkeys very well known for chasing children yet dumb Obama pardons one every year. Is weak on turkeys, many fowls laughing at us. I will be strong. Butterball stocks up!

I’m not surprised by it, though, because people who aren’t musicians will never understand the musician mentality. If all someone cares about is making money, then they’re ALREADY playing in a band that has zero artistic integrity. You don’t join, I don’t know, for example, a black metal band or a crust punk band,…

I’d think twice if it was Spinal Tap.

WTF, no opinion on diagonal staples? So much better, and less chance of tearing.

Here’s hoping all that hate is balling up in a blood vessel somewhere life-threatening inside him.

Yep. This is as simple as Dak and Dez and Zeke kneeling before the next game, along with whichever other players care to join in. But those three can easily knock down the Jenga pile that is Jerry’s moral stand.

Lol all I’m saying is that we need to pay attention to the negative margins when adjusting capital in order to comply with the Nate Yodel Dictum. We can’t just raise rates without lowering overhead and accounting for variance in the outcome/income/piss bucket ratio.

*rolls eyes* Great another internet financier. Have you ever heard of the Glossom-Bogar Effect? How are you going to keep the Gladus curve in nominal alignment? Everyone is all like “Oh why don’t we just let people work for money to buy things!” I didn’t go to the Xavier School Of Magic Finance for nothing you know.…

“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”

ISIS was on the ropes, running for their lives after American troops heroically decimated them in battle. They were *this* close to waving the white flag and accepting that Christianity is the correct religion and that America is the savior of the earth. They even briefly thought about opening a few McDonald’s…

Worse. People may start to realize the US is not the perfect paragon of virtue that is constantly jammed down our throats as children.

You’re playing it correctly, right? Auctioning off any property you land on but don’t buy, no money on Free Parking, etc.