Girl, never go on a date hungry. Also, never decline date continuation suggestions after he’s seen your makeup drip and your hair swell up like Donna Summer! Besides, everybody knows that banana pudding is the most sensuous of desserts! ;)

This is probably sexist but as bad as awful plastic surgery looks on women, it looks even worse on men. Did he have two golf balls injected into his cheekbones? Did his dentist steal those veneers from the set of a Jim Carrey movie? And you’d think if he was already going to the trouble of having so much work done, he…

No

Good timing. Went to the doctor last week also, and I am officially overweight. I mean I already knew that when my comfy pants became my tight pants but that was a tough number to look at on the scale. I need something to get me out of the terrible muffins-a-day habit that I’ve developed.

I’m so uncomfortable by these jokes. Girl is an immigrant, and (as a fellow Slav) English is so, so fucking hard to master after Slovenian as your first language. I’ve been speaking English for 25 years and I still can’t get it right all the time.

At least two, which is one more than I speak.

I would actually kind of love it if this became the “Al Capone tax evasion” of the Trump administration. If manage to dodge all the accusations of obstruction but end up in prison for throwing a shitty, expensive party, it would have a certain poetic grace.

I don’t understand how a person has time to do anything with six kids.

We saw this episode already. This is when they take a break and realize after a few months that they love each other and want it to work. Damn six kids. Thats a lot of hearts breaking. Now I’m gonna feel weird watching the show knowing how it all ends. 

This is why I don't work in the restaurant industry. I wouldn't be thinking customer retention. My reaction would be more along the lines of getting my stuff back from the dirty, dirty thieves.

That’s a palmier and it doesn’t look anything even remotely like an elephant ear which looks like a puffy fried tortilla.

Allow me to put on my Penelope Pedantic cape....

midwest US here; that’s a palmier. I’ve only ever seen them in Chinese restaurants, though.

I can’t even read the Onion anymore because it is basically the same as the news.

I can’t speak for deep-fried PB&J but pan-fried is my old standby. 

Cletus

The only logical thing to do at this point is for citizens to lynch anyone who was named by Epstein.   Obvious law enforcement and our government isn’t going to do anything to rich pedophiles.  Time for some good old fashioned frontier justice.  

The snobbishness thing is real.

I have a friend who, upon eating anything that has even touched shellfish, will vomit repeatedly for the next couple hours and then have varying degrees of gastrointestinal distress for at least two days. This is not a life-threatening Epi-Pen allergy, but if all I need to do to help my friend not be in gut-wrenching…

Even as far as being a dick goes, I feel like that poor person’s in-laws are on a level beyond your neighborhood asshole. I’ve had several roommates before who had Coeliac disease, one much more severely than the other, and the gamut of reactions from the other roommates usually ranged from supportive, to apathetic,…