I hope a bucket of paint falls off a ladder and lands upside-down on your head and gets stuck there and you stumble around with a paint-bucket on your head and crash into a ladder and fall down a manhole.

When you woke up this morning, did you think of yourself as someone who would call the teenaged survivor of a mass shooting a liar on the internet, or are you surprised to learn that about yourself?

Shit like this enrages me so much that it makes me want to throw my keyboard against the wall. Which is fine, because the Logitech 2600 Wireless Keyboard is built to sustain impacts of up to 600 pounds of force.

Remarkably stupid comment, thank you.

The Quarterback may not throw the ball. The Quarterback will have two (2) options for getting rid of the ball:

I’m fairly certain had I had the same amount I would have imagined myself saying that as I lay face down on the sidewalk unable to walk.

I pity whoever wakes up next to James Harden, because there is not an inch of that bed that he didn’t shit all over.

To be fair, those stigmata wounds in his hands open easily.

Jokes on you. I wasn’t there because I don’t have enough money.

Porzingis Shows Dingus His Finguhs

“These people have awful names.”

Reuben, what happened at the combined?!

You can’t get so fiery this early. This is bananas, Foster.

“Finally my chance to get off the Mets!”

What is this article? This has nothing about the Cardinals losing a baseball game.

*severely fucks up the part of my body my living is dependent on with a toy for children* im the most scientific mothrefucker out here libs

Will this explanation assuage your conscience if the Trump administration turns out to be every bit as bad as we’re all afraid it will be? Will you feel like you did all you could, even things that seemed kind of piddly and pointless?

I’ve never called an elected representative in my life. I just did. I expected to have to leave a voicemail, but someone picked up on the first ring! This caught me off guard, so I stammered my way through what I wanted to say about the last couple of weeks, especially this weekend. Who knows if the congressperson I…

no one in their right mind would ever fuck them?

It was just as petty as it looks. They were pissed at Ichiro for not taking more pitches as a leadoff hitter, allowing the hitters lower in the order to see more pitches and add to the pitch count. As though that was going to matter to Richie Sexson, Jose Vidro, Milton Bradley and Chone Figgins.