To be fair, virtual snake handling is hard. 

Whatever. At this point I’m so turned-to-stone jaded and resentful that one of the few hopes I cling to is that COVID-19 rips through Evangelical communities like wet paper. It already looks as though red states are primed to take the full brunt of this pandemic at its peak, and...yeah...fuck ‘em. They voted, prayed,…

I say we gather up all the ventilators, masks, and gowns from FL, LA, GA and send them to NY an NJ. When the southern states need vents, we can tell them to treat everyone with the power of Jesus. Be like Ken Copeland and blow the corona virus out of existence.

Seriously. I just fucking can’t with the general concept of thinking now is a good time to get pregnant or bring a child into the world, or thinking it’s ok to tie up medical resources in what is - sorry - an entirely elective procedure.

I’m one half of a lesbian couple who has been doing IVF (I don’t have very many eggs, but they’re good...why wife has tons of eggs, but they’re weird).

There is “abuse” from every candidate’s supporters. The media chooses to focus on Bernie because he is a threat to the pearl clutching liberals. Biden will lose if he doesn’t appeal to Sanders’ base. That is just a fact, especially in the context of coronavirus. There will be an entire class of unemployed people who…

So so many people to blame for the catastrophe of 2016

We get it. Possibly better than you do. COVID-19 is tearing apart the tattered remains of our social safety nets, and threatening to drag half the population down with them, the planet’s burning, and the current administration is stealing everything not nailed down and trying to strangle democracy.

Well...I got married in the parking lot of an abandoned gas station but I absolutely do acknowledge that’s not acceptable or desired by 99% of folks, hahaha. No regrets here though. Free and we were done with the whole thing within 10 minutes. 

I live in NYC and am friendly with my next-door neighbor - she’s been living there about 3 years and one night she ended up needing to crash on my couch due to a key mix-up with a housesitter; now we get drinks/dinner every 6 months or so, and sometimes I’ll share my baking projects with her, but we generally ignore…

Did she even follow any of her own advice?

Caucus Application Error: Results too Bernie to process.

Well, I mean, he’s going to fucking try. That alone is more than I can assume of just about any of the other candidates and stands as one of Sanders’ most compelling virtues.  He’s going to try.  

It feels wild to have some hope but here I am, tearing up and having hope. The idea of everyone in my family being insured, the disability rights plan...fuck I did not want to be this invested because the disappointment is so soul crushing.

“Crusades? You mean them little French rolls at the bakery, taking up room from real American pastries?”

An argument from the link to Carmon’s piece is basically: Well, I didn’t rape Meryl Streep, so ipso facto, I could not have raped anyone! QED, bitchez!

“Weinstein added that he has been in rehab and joined a 12-step program.”

This is as good a time as any to remind the audience that if Roe v. Wade were to be thrown out that states could once again restrict abortion access in whatever way they want to. Abortion access in the US would return to a patchwork wherein some states have few restrictions and some have many. So it is a good idea, if…

At no time is “take the G train” ever the the “easiest” solution. To anything. Second only to the L train — which is extremely easy to use, but never working.

That’s the magic of Christmas you’re feeling, made even better by knowing that a bunch of bigots will now have a slightly less jolly Christmas.