The weirdest thing about my reaction to this is that I spent the first half of it thinking "this is going to end with the boyfriend leaving. This is about an ex boyfriend - no boyfriend on earth would put up with this sort of bullshit." And then I hit the 50% mark and realized it was written by Mark and not a girl.

As an American, this woman sounds fucking insane - I would never give this advice to an American girl, ever ever ever ever. EVER.

And immediately after that, a seal that gets... shot in the head?

Ach, don't. Corsets don't actually hurt your boobs, in my experience - take your hands and press below your nipples, all that happens is that your breast tissue shifts up. You don't really feel it, especially compared to the rib compression and the boning if it juts into your hips. At least your breasts have somewhere…

And not a centerpiece in sight!

I find it hilarious that the casinos have somehow implied that "card counting" is cheating, when it is actually just being really good at memory and numbers.

And here I thought the lesson was to be careful about who you trust, and not to marry someone 24 hours after you've met him. AKA, don't be an idiot.

And meanwhile, the other kids in the class (including me) mostly used that calculator to play Tetris.

I once ended a longstanding-but-casual friendship over her treatment of a server. I'd been perfectly happy being friends with this coworker until I went out to dinner with her (this is about three years into knowing her) and as part of a long list of other random questions she asks about meals without tomato. When she…

I'm imagining you as a Magic 8 Ball. A hateful Magic 8 Ball that just waits for the opportunity to shake with rage and spew out a randomly-generated (but pre-loaded!) insult.

Ha - so, same reason I didn't go while in London, then.

I've been meaning to visit for ages - shamefully I've not been since I was a teenager, not even when I was living in London for years and years. Stupid really, since it was genuinely one of my favourite places in the world as a kid.

I had never heard of Darien - that is FASCINATING. Yikes.

Yep, the EU is the catch I keep thinking about: from what I understand, if Scotland vote for independence, they'll actually have to reapply and will likely get a much stiffer deal that the initial Brit negotiation.

Us - I am confused. Are you in England.

I think many people are finally getting freaked out about this. At first it was a nice, romantic way to declare that Scotland is awesome and not just England's afterthought, and that it would be a symbolic vote that took a nice stand about being a separate culture and everyone would wear kilts for a bit and then…

Rawson's house isn't built on any kind of hexed land

I feel you, kiddo. My mom did the same thing to me when I was that age - chopped off her long straight hair to jaw-length and fucking PERMED it. She strolled in the door and I went into hysterics.

Read this as "Insane Minnie Driver" at first. Shame.

The Stevens of the world are almost unimaginably buffered from uncomfortable shit.