What he lacks in style and technique he makes up for in a superior corner team, fashion sense, nicotine intake, and incomprehensible gibberish.

Messi was thinking about inviting his national teammates but decided he’d rather the wedding not end up as a huge disappointment.

These things only happen when you’re in a relationship. It’s never when you’re single and actually trying. They can smell the desperation.

While we’re bragging, I think my crowning achievement as an object of female desire was when an attractive girl asked for my number, I told her (truthfully) that I had a girlfriend, and then she returned a few minutes later, handed me a piece of paper with her number on it and said, “Just in case.” I felt like a big…

Get out of my brain you magnificent bastard

This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

Willis hasn’t played any ATP tour-level matches or grand slams

Is this the Phil Kessel of tennis?

I believe Manti T’eo has dated at least two of them.

And gay Manti Teo would totally date them

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

the case for Zubov:

Suddenly, I have a strong urge to fire up NHL ‘94.

The Jays have lost ten consecutive games that would have taken them to/above .500 (counting opening day).

Oh yeah, it’s a blast.

How could you forget the immortal Peter Sidorkewicz?

He still goes home to Kate Upton.

As a Pens fan, I’m going to miss the current tradition of Fleury losing his job every postseason.

Tim Tebow... took some ribbing