If I saw a dude doing shit like that, I'd go and gawk.

He's going to make a big splash.

Splashes look legit…the kids in the tubes…looks real to me.

…and a hot plate!

…and if you don't have that sense, you may have come from a consequence-free life of privilege.

To be honest, every time someone calls her a "celebrity" a little part of me dies on the inside.

TIL that nice guy I was talking to a while back was not actually so nice. Ug.

SOMEBODY

How do you think he manages to do so much in one day? One group of Hannities does his radio show, another group does his TV show, a third group writes his books, and the remaining Hannities coach his daughter's softball team.

I didn't think this was controversial.

I wouldn't say that Nas fell off, he just fell from making a stone cold classic to "merely" good rap.

"I'm the Grand Wizard of my hockey league!"

"I'm so homesick! All I want is Tim Horton's and a Kraft dinner."

So I can be a leg break bowler in hockey and nobody would be none the wiser?

Any protips for possible follow-up questions?

I'm on the internet due to a combination of social anxiety and chronic procrastination. Those assholes are on the internet because they cannot make friends.

If my Google-fu is working, he appears to be 53+ retired(?) lawyer from St. Louis.

Tennessee, Tennessee
There ain't no place I'd rather be
Baby won't you carry me
Back to Tennessee

I'd hate to be the roadie responsible for the 55 gal drum of lube.

You can do that with baseball through MLB.tv. It's actually $10 for the whole season.