They just posted a feature! Oh wait, it's a FOC.

Way ahead of you. My liver's so swollen after this past week that it's big enough for its own electoral district.

It's only 2:30 and—since features were light today—I now have nothing to read for the next 3 hours. What am I supposed to do, actually work?!?

One of my comments had a punctuation error that I will never be able to correct. Will someone please think of the children?!?

This photo is quite educational, though. It teaches you to keep your damn cutting board clean. All the little broccoli bits are gross.

No Oscar Winner_s_ Allowed party. They're allowed one.

That's why my house is a sphere. No, not Michael Crichton's Sphere.

Not enough butts.

It's a CancerAIDS treatment. Ask your doctor if Aziraphale is right for you!

"What's the Frequency, Donald?"

"Everybody Hurts?"

OF KOCH!

McDonald's Sweet and Sour and Chick-Fil-A’s nugget sauce didn't make
the list after it was determined they weren't good enough to recommend
at all. [emphasis mine]

Ron Perlman is just a token. He'll die in the first act.

Bonobo will be joining Bono at Bonnaroo.

Thanks for this. Glad to see Denizens on the list. Maybe I will actually leave the house this weekend.

Some website I've been surfing at work sent off a number of proxy server
warnings at work. I'm looking at you, Disqus. Luckily, they were
determined to be false negatives, so I think I'm in the clear

Really? I thought at least Test Track and Mission Space had them.

Wait, the asshole from Shark Tank? Politics really is becoming reality television.

I'm lucky enough to be off, so I don't even have to pretend to work.