Great now my marina is going to be full of poors.

He’d just cry again. Cry more. Whatever. At least Ted Cruz hasn’t proved himself to be a huge pussy. Yet.

I had completely forgotten about Ryan Lochte. Jeah! Super excited for Rio now! Jeah Jeah!

The appeal is not necessarily getting freebies as much as it is appearing to be big enough to post sponsored content.

Religion the best and worst thing human beings ever created.

I just assumed basketball in Australia looked like this:

Not necessarily stuck-up, though she might be, but “stupid” is strongly implied. And like not just white, but really white.

1. Do they dump it?

When told he was going back to Cali, Moody responded, “I don’t think so.”

The way people speak of Mozart now is how they’ll speak of Prince in 200 years. I’m only slightly exaggerating.

Hey, I liked “Batdance!”

I’m pretty damn sure you guys already did a post on this very specific video just a few months ago...

Sure, he has pages. But were they served with eel pie? Above or below the salt, and with or without a trencher? What color was his doublet? The greaves? gauntlet?

There’s no way he succinctly communicated an idea in a single paragraph.

Sending a message about the value of supporting true liberal policies rather than taking action to achieve a positive, measurable outcome is tragically, comically, exactly the sort of thing that makes idealistic young liberals such a cliche. Good luck sending that message - I look forward to the receding oceans,…

Spending days and nights dreaming up ways to get and keep the attention of high school kids, sorority chicks, and the kind of folks that write for Gawker has to be the internet’s saddest Hedonic treadmill yet.

“See? This is why women shouldn’t play sports! They cry and quit when a coach is even a little bit hard on them.” - my uncle, probably