Don’t ruin things before they ruin themselves.

“and also letting us know that he, like Pete Buttigieg, speaks 147 languages and is a Rhodes Scholar.”

Empty movie theaters

If only he were in Oregon where he could meet a lady who likes laughter, her friends and doing yoga poses in front of Haystack Rock...

I supported Jerry Brown too.

This.

Who do you think your audience is for this advice, out of curiosity? Aren’t 99% of the people who actually read and comment on this site suuuuuper up their own ass about media, pop culture and their own projected future influences on it? Plus it is a running theme in literally ALL COMEDY AT ALL TIMES. If you are a…

We have too much free time and are bored with being smug on environmental discussion boards for not choosing to bring another western world human onto this planet. Plus it’s one of the few places where the ol’ “...as a parent...” intro has the exact amount of weight that it deserves, which is zero. If people didn’t…

totally.

That last line of yours(read 6 months later)... yup. Booger and Lamar were the only good ones and that’s just because they were self-aware of their bullshit. I’ve rewatched it many times over and Wormzer (the 13-year-old) is arguably as bad if not worse but is just so young he has no power so it is a joke.

In the…

Carter. What we need to do is go back in time and get him reelected in 1980 (I assume Quantum Leap style) and 90% of our issues will resolve themselves. It will take a lot of work and a bunch of jumps and maybe make Invasion of the Body Snatchers a documentary of sorts but it will solve A LOT of shit. Cause new shit?…

A million billion times yes to this statement right here. 

you haven’t spent much time in Malibu, huh

I have things against him as a person. He can suck my dick.

THIS IS FANTASTIC. 

diamonds are gauche

The 2016 Portland concert was one of the greatest things I have ever seen.

I used to work for ABC and am routinely FLOORED at how much this show gets done considering who the executives are and what their reactions to things generally tend to be. This show is spectacular. It’s also possible a lot of the top execs aren’t smart or educated enough to understand the jokes they’d normally…

He is painful and grating on his best days.

This is the only acceptable idea.