Well it’s Newsweek..about as quaint and outmoded as the butter churn.

I used to be like that.

Um, I’m 68 years old and thanks, but I don’t need a special phone. I am perfectly capable of using the kind regular people use. 

I bought out my lease in January, but have no plans to sell the car, a 2018 Rogue. I really like the car and my monthly payments are less than the lease payments were. It only has 15,000 miles on it and hopefully it will be the last car I buy, since I am ancient.

My mother recently said to me;”I should be incarcerated for what I did to you.”
I did not contradict her.

I usually send the baby a short letter of introduction, and arrive dressed as a dachshund. Works every time!

A word of caution...the potential side effects of Botox are no joke. They’re rare, but they happen. I developed a high fever and severe muscle aches after my treatment and had pain and pronounced weakness in my legs for a year afterwards. That was it for me and Botox.
(I have a friend, who has a friend who gets lots of…

I could be wrong, but I think of Dunham as kind of a one trick pony.

Way to miss the point, Mr. Literal!

I’ve got news, when you actually ARE old, your whole life seems like it passed in one day, anyway. Take it from me.

That’s so weird, I’ve been thinking about that movie for 2 days now and about how strangely prescient it is.

Another irony is that if you WANT to be sterilized, and are white, they will do just about anything to prevent you from doing it and to get you to change your mind. I was sterilized very young by choice and it was not easy. I. had to wait years before they would even listen to me.

Why not bind your feet while you’re at it and render even more of your body parts useless for anything but ornamentation?

Anyone who plays the God card is an asshole. The more you parade your “faith” around, the more of a hypocrite you are.

Everything I DON’T buy, helps the planet. That’s my mantra.

Even Robin Arzon is not Robin Arzon. It’s all marketing.

Yeah, that fork explanation made me cry.

My dad taught me to lucid dream when I was five because I had a lot of nightmares. I’d say 80% of my dreams are lucid. I don’t try to manipulate them, I just take note of the fact that I am dreaming.

I’m all for staying hydrated and for drinking more in extreme heat, but as an extremely old person, I’d like to point out that fifty and sixty years ago, people did not walk around holding a bottle of water everywhere they went and we pretty much drank when we were thirsty.

There ya go! Nailed it. He and Carole were both stangely void of emotion with each other.