That last playoff loss was like the fucking ghost of Marty-ball past come to haunt Chiefs fans. Once Knile Davis went down I knew what was going to happen and started drinking heavily.

“The name of Buffalo’s signature dish has the word “garbage” in it.”

Garbage plates are from Rochester, not Buffalo. Get your snowbound rust belt ghost towns straight.

I am REALLY looking forward to this season. In my mind, its no different than any other Bills season: go in with low to non-existent expectations and see what happens.

My dad on the field after the Bills made it to one of their Super bowls. It was like -10 degrees out.

As a Bills fan this is the article I look most forward to every year, it’s hilarious, accurate, and beautiful. All sad and depressing as it may be for me to read. Then again I suppose I do have the best chances of getting fellatio in the Ralph as I do anywhere else so that a plus.

I play in an adult hockey league, and I try to win, because it’s fun. But there are far too many people that take it way too seriously. Trying to win at a competition that means nothing is one thing, but getting emotionally involved enough to intentionally injure people is just stupid. And it happens all the time.

My father passed away suddenly on Monday at age 57, so I’m at my Mom’s house this week, in my old bedroom. I still have a couple youth football participation trophies sitting in there in a box, and they remind me of being a kid and my dad being there at practices and games. Those participation trophies aren’t there to…

It’s actually Aristophanes, he put it in a play to purposefully make fun of how the older generation sounds when they complain about children in ~425 BC or so.

Did Karlos hurt his balls?

And here’s a flip side: I was on many, many terrible teams when I was a kid, and received many many terrible participation trophies (and one car-shaped pencil sharpener!). Everyone - good athletes, bad athletes, good teams, bad teams - knew these things were a joke. They were shiny and kinda cool but kinda…

We actually have a lot about them, but we don’t talk about them as much because Louisiana is literally a place where you can buy liquor in a paper bag from the gas station and take it to go to drink on the street. The world is your depressed silent bar here.

Misery loves company.

Having a friend who is a Browns fan is one of the most underrated pleasures in life.

i fucking love that they owned all these people being 16. the young girl getting her period and coming out an adult? yes.

Trainer: How many fingers am I holding up?

Slaves did not lose their dignity because the government allowed them to be enslaved. My employees did not lose their dignity because I kept trying to show them my dick and putting my pubic hairs on their drinks. If we’re being honest with each other, I’m not sure what the word dignity means. What’s happening, again?…

You need new people. I’ve spent the last hour liking all the “FUCK YEAH RAINBOWS” posts.

Because horses aren’t trying to get faster the way humans are. Horses aren’t like awake in the stable at night like “shit I need to push my body to the limit! Do something no horse has ever done before! You’re going down, Secretariat!” They’re just like “what the fuck why are we running?”

she might be really short...but as a 5’4 woman whose body looks pretty much the same as amy’s...i’m a 10 on a good day....

Just tell them they’re not that attractive and you don’t know who let them talk. Maybe if they were hotter you would listen to their opinions.