All I can say is I am so sorry to read this story. SMH.

Had my child perpetrated such a thing when he was small, you can bet I would’ve apologized, helped clean, and left a HUGE tip. I’m sorry that’s uncommon, damn.

As a friend of mine sometimes says, “Jesus loves you. The rest of us think you’re an asshole.”

OMFG.

It’s amazing to me. I’ve dealt with three small-town funeral homes, two in New Jersey (my husband’s family) and one in Texas (when my dad died). The staff members were all great. They were kind, professional, understanding, helpful. My father was cremated and wanted no advance viewing of his body - no problem. My…

Yes. I can’t see who - beyond the most recent person - starred any of my stuff, and just in generally the notifications are acting hinky.

Is it bad that this makes me happy? OMG.

My great-aunt was buried with, like, twelve little boxes of cat ashes.

Oh, good god, do you remember the anecdote in The American Way of Death about a funeral director who tried to discourage someone from buying an inexpensive coffin by saying it was too short and then adding, “But we could cut off his feet!”

I know!

I love the way that paragraph builds from a well-written but not weird rock-and-roll show review to the ... PANTS.

Ow! Beaches are sandy. Anyway, possibly he wasn’t in howling form that day. I’ve always assumed he was on a LOT of drugs when he had sex with my friend.

Probably would have been more fun for someone with a bit of experience! But yeah.

Here ya go. “Remembering Klaus Nomi 30 Years Later” - don’t miss the videos.

Obviously I wasn’t there, but she was pretty damn convincing when she told the story.

From a 2007 Ben Ratliff review of a Stooges show in the New York Times, one of my favorite quotes ever:

I’mma guess:

I used to know a woman (dead now) who claimed she’d lost her virginity to Jim Morrison. Though it was consensual, she said he howled like an animal the whole time and it was completely traumatizing.

All day I've been hitting refresh. I may have a problem. With Mondays.

An amazing week. If I had been any of these servers, but especially Rosa Taliani, I would have been so tempted to do this (of course, it wouldn't work with the Splenda ketchup lady because her kids would have licked it up):