I’mma guess:

I used to know a woman (dead now) who claimed she’d lost her virginity to Jim Morrison. Though it was consensual, she said he howled like an animal the whole time and it was completely traumatizing.

All day I've been hitting refresh. I may have a problem. With Mondays.

An amazing week. If I had been any of these servers, but especially Rosa Taliani, I would have been so tempted to do this (of course, it wouldn't work with the Splenda ketchup lady because her kids would have licked it up):

And so say all of us!

Yes, but even so ...

I know! Victoria Beckham would crumble. Taylor Swift would cry for mercy.

Yes, TR did say that! I just quoted it too, whoops.

I'm trying to remember if it was a pet mouse or a pet snake that she liked to pull out of her pocket at stuff Washington tea parties.

Locals were shocked to hear this week that they were quitting their posts and moving from the hall, which is said to be visited by Kate's mother Carole on a very regular basis.

It was hard work, but I am so fucking proud that my son (well into his teens) says "May I please have ..." and "Thank you" to every server, counter person, whatever. Even if I'm not there (I've checked).

Speaking as a native Texan (who fled)? You have to memorize the damned flags, trust me.

I only had two years of Texas history - there was some school switching so maybe I managed to skip one session.

1) I love Nathan Fillion. 2) This particular moment in his career was perfection at the time, and continues to be perfection all these years later. 3) Thank you for deploying it now.

Oh, yeah. My fave phone call, also from the day of the wedding: "I forgot I'm having furniture delivered today."

WHO THINKS THIS IS AN APPROPRIATE THING TO DO?! Without asking?!

Oh, God, version control!! So difficult.

I had to make a couple of awkward calls about that exact problem, and most especially had to tell one colleague that her boytoy-of-the-week - a particularly obnoxious specimen - was NOT invited.

The one time a friend tried mayonnaise in my presence - overnight, with a shower cap - it was springtime out in the country. She woke up with her head covered with tiny black ants, fortunately not the bitey kind. Much shampooing ensued.

What's wonderful about this is not just his complaints - which were fair enough at a time when search engines were barely working. It's that all the good stuff he thinks isn't going go happen? Has happened.