Forget game recaps, this is literally the type of article I come to Deadspin for.

Proving once again that horse racing doesn’t have many stars, just a bunch of “glue guys”.

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

Sure, laugh now. We’ll see who’s grinning when Warner’s Nigerian prince wire transfer drops.

Since this ended in a thai, it went to a shootout.

God high school kids are dumb.

I’m with you, complete bullshit

Your detailed knowledge of dildos is impressive.

The dildo story does not make much sense.

At a recent wedding I got verryyyyyy high and sent text messages to another Jezebel writer who was also at a wedding and whose name sounds like “mork”

Worse than this was my cousin, who proposed to his girlfriend during a family reunion.

45. Writes self serving humblebrag posts on Jezebel and shows wife all the stars he got because he’s an awesome feminist.

Shut the fuck up.

fuck you - they raised over a million dollars doing this - what have you done for children mr internet commenter?

Me, tonight.

A GOPer is trying to keep the black man down while exercising his right to bear arms. What’s so fishy about that?

it's the shirt/buttons/chest.

#6. The previous owner masturbated all over the seats

This article hit the nail on the head. I am the new owner of a 2001 E55 AMG. It is an amazing car, and for the price, its slightly unbelievable. Sure basic maintenance items cost more, like my 95 dollar oil change I just did, but its worth it. I get some of those "look at that asshole" looks when I drive it, but I…

Wow, i been preaching this to my ham-fisted incompetent friends for years. Got a 2001 e46 myself, "everyone went O_O noooo are you retarded?? why?? USED BMW NOOO!" while they drive a $30k Kia dishwasher. The depreciation is amazing on these cars, i been looking for a 2000-2006 CL 500 myself and while quite a bit more…