This is good #Torchlopnik.

Why do you always yell at Jalopnik? What did Jalopnik do to you?

Rawr.

I’m officially calling bullshit on this video. We’ve all been pranked. Let me show you by who (he’s in the video):

Well here’s one from the other side. I was a Valet when I was 17 at a Country Club in upstate NY. A guy came in with a very nice Saab 900 Turbo convertible. I parked it. Couldn’t find the key to turn it off. I looked all over the dash. My friend who was working with me did the same. I eventually had to go in and ask…

I don’t care if its -50. Dicks Out!

“More than you can afford, buddy” *disappears in a cloud of electrical smoke*

When I was 25 I once rolled up to a fancy restaurant in my 1997 aubergine-colored Dodge Stratus, and I left the keys with the valet. After a very nice meal at the restaurant, we headed outside and waited for the valet to return with my car. After about 5 minutes, imagine my horror when the valet returned with a 1997…

I was told that a lot was “valet only” when I was meeting people for dinner.

It’s an Avalon. I gaurantee they were standing right in front of the car and didn’t realize it.

I’m probably not good enough, but neither was Doug

Think you’re ready to take your shitposting to the next level?

New phone, who dis?

I have lots of amateur shitposting experience. I’m basically Doug already.

Press cars also depend on age.

So I take it you’re the dipshit that thinks an article about the Ford GT is the perfect place to bring up unrelated politics.

The Operator claimed he became distracted and lost control of the vehicle causing it to roll over landing on its roof.

Hate to break it to you, but this is a Rapide. It has the same crease at the end and the same wheels.

COTD - Because, Bob Ross.

Amen.