Nothing will ever top Blowjob-bib.

Terry Gross would like a word.

Oh c'mon! This stereotyping was going just fine then you had to throw Drake in there.

Of all the things I tried being an impressionable person growing up, the one thing I totally missed out on, weirdly enough, is energy drinks. Not even due to will power or personal choice or anything. The opportunity just never presented itself and nothing about the way it was marketed ever made me want to reach for…

It's the upskirts you don't remember that haunt you the most.

Top. Men.

You just know that the next thing some enterprising moviegoer will protest after seeing the sequel is the scene where Howard runs from dinosaurs with clothes on.

Hey, thanks!

You know what what would've prevented Cecil the lion from getting shot? If he'd had a gun to protect himself.

Well, I personally didn't call them stupid. All my comments so far have been directed at the gun nuts. The filmmakers have more patience with them than I ever will.

Nah, we did. The filmmakers also seem to be underestimating how much more snark than actual progress will result from this.

"Jesus Christ!" — Shia LeBeouf

I'm here to fuckin' inspire you? What do you mean messiah, messiah how? How am I your messiah?

I'm going for that "Jesus on the cross" look.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of the local cineplex, I shalt fear no evil. For thy rod and thy 12-guage shotgun art with me.

Hygiene? Self awareness? YOU TAKE THAT BETA TALK SOMEPLACE ELSE.

Men have had a very rough go of it for… just recently. And it ends now.

We have top men working on it right now.

Hollywood Upstairs Medical College

Do you even HIIT, brah?