When my daughter was 2, she refused to let me use wet wipes to clean her after she pooped, and insisted on being wiped with a shred of an American flag which had been moistened with tears shed by decent upstanding citizens at the moral decay our society has been experiencing since, oh, about September 22nd, 1862. But…

Is the news here that 319 websites combined had more traffic than one single website?

Tom, should you focus on his penis when his balls are the real story? I understand the confusion since there’s not a vas deferens between the two.

He should bring the Ringer to Kinja. Super stable and super nice partner sites, it’s a can’t lose!

What are you talking about? Quarters is played almost exclusively in college.

Guys, pay attention. It was only the end of the second quarter. Look at the graphic in the corner. It says “2nd” right there on the screen. Such an embarrassment to see a mistake like that on this usually-wonderful website.

She’s not good at cyber!

I guess there are blind spots on these little Carrs.

Credit: I don't know the artist, sorry.

I’d do donuts. Throw one engine in forward, the other in reverse thrust and go crazy. That is assuming you can control thrust vector independently, I doubt you can on purpose.

I would want to taxi the plane if I managed to survive the landing. A victory lap of sorts. Not just park it on the runway and eject the slides. That’s lame.

FYI

FYI:

This is a Deadspin article, so I expected him to actually have a massive erection on the field, not a fuck up.

Daily, basic hygiene habits like flossing/brushing teeth, taking showers, shaving, cosmetics, and hairstyling. It was assumed that I would 'just do' these things once I was taught how, so the habit was never reinforced.

If Kristen Wiig tells some dude secretary he can always find work in the food service industry, i'll die a happy man.

80s snl group vs todays snl group...

Scott Hall makes doing "suck it" look like he's on the verge of a heart attack

The answer is always scott hall