39 years old and driving a 2010 WRX hatchback. Bone stock, except for a new head unit and car seats for two out of my three munchkins in back. No hooning or showing off, but I will run it up to redline in first through third to get the kids to scream in joy.

Following our esteemed leader, I will not identify the airline with whom I was flying when the following horrors were unleashed upon me, if for no other reason than the airline identity is immaterial to the salient facts of the event.