This is a very vague question. How rich is rich? What country are we talking about? How old of a kid do you have to be?

I am astonished that the Jetta didn't make the list. It won this poll years in a row when Cartalk did it. I don't know anyone who doesn't cross to the other side of the street when they see a blond girl in a Jetta.

I'm promoting this just for the phrase "equally undead." Also, heartclick.

Solution: mid-'80s Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser station wagon with the rear seats folded down; 5 sleeping bags in the back. Add electric motor as needed.

Maybe if the Touristen would quit fahrting...

Also, lately I've been noticing a class of Prius drivers that go 90 on the freeway and pass everybody on the right. What the hell is up with that? That's supposed to be kids in Lexuses and 3-series. Is the Prius becoming a status symbol for young idiots?

Absolutely have to second you on that one, although I think the MKIV may be the worst offender around here.

I know, I'll start my own car blog, with blackjack, and hookers. And it'll be all guys who drink Miller High Life and sleep on a creeper under their cars, and I'll get exclusives just because industry people appreciate my integrity, and it'll never, ever, ever go corporate. Ever. Until they invent some sort of…

I'm still a fan of the 240SX. The markup and beat-to-shit factor has gone way up since I had one, because of the drift kids, but it's still a tough deal to beat.

Satan oscillate my metallic sonatas. I voted CP, but only just, and mainly because that is a lot of money for me right now. If I could toss around that kind of cash, I could think of worse places to put it.

You can tell how out of order the clips are by how many hubcaps he has left.

I do not know how to begin on this one. Those 3-spoke wheels speak of a crack habit so bad you wake up every morning shivering in a ditch. And that's just scratching the surface of how outdoor-shittingly, human-traffickingly, rock-bottomly cracktacular this abomination is.

An unrestored pre-L DeTomaso Pantera.

The secret 1LE package on the IROC Camaro.

So... does that mean I'm even less crazy if I have some old-school impractical vehicles that don't run at all? Is my mom wrong?

One of the issues here is that consumers are satisfied not when they get the best car, but when they get what they want. So the CSI isn't broken; drivers are broken. They just want the wrong things.

I just thought of something. Normal California plates go number-letter-letter-letter-number-number-number. Commercial plates go number-letter-number-number-number-number-number. So I could get a vanity plate that was just 1A23456, and I could park in loading zones whenever I wanted.

Oh, stewardess! Could I have another dry martini, please? Thanks, hon. Oh, and when we arrive, could you let me know our ET and trap speed?

According to Google translate, 9碼的失敗 is the Chinese for "nine yards of fail."