"So I was just forced to watch this morning's First Take..."

"Upon seeing this, ESPN executives immediately set upon rectifying the situation: Terminating Beadle and apologizing to Smith and Bayless for any offense her comments may have caused."

I love that he wastes so much time with tough-guy posturing, too. He makes sure we know he'll kick an ass if it touches one of his female possessions, though said possession could save him the trouble by rethinking her tone before it gets that far.

I'm sorry, are you implying.. What exactly? That she ought to be ashamed of her trans status?

Fuck you and your boring lazy ass, panhandling for views with content that has nothing to do with trans women or models or hell, any god damned thing that matters.

It literally looks like a bad police sketch of a Hyundai Elantra.

On the one hand, Ray might not have hit his wife if he had calmed down and smoked some weed. On the other, he'd then have been suspended for an extra game.

Any song that mentions "fags" and "AIDS" gets my dander up, but other than that, while this stuff is sub-optimal, the fact that anybody is surprised by this is way more surprising than any of the nicknames.

I'm sure Josh Gordon applauded the decision. He, of all people, knows how much the value drops once something's been cut.

A good general rule is, if you call your watch a chronograph, you're probably an asshole.

Hey, they gave it a good effort, and got pretty close; I'm pretty sure their manager appreciates that more than most.

"Coaches having to suffer through the embarrassment of wearing a knockoff watch puts going to bed hungry in perspective, doesn't it?" - Mark Emmert

He just wouldn't want the media distractions

That's a black man in the US saying that Sam shouldn't have a chance because it wouldn't be smooth.

Feeling sick and owned is common in the legal profession, but it normally comes from logging into Sallie Mae.

Object all you want, but it's a fucking deposition. Answer the question.

....mothers who would bubble wrap their baby boy and put him on a mantle. (But not so high that he might fall off it.)

Basically Eisfussball Pokal with sticks and a disc. Also one of the few sports whose relationships with pro clubs/national teams is remotely comparable.

Of course he would, because everyone loves Kuyt. I hated most of the Dutch, except him.

These three novels, each in their own unique way, do a complete mindfuck number on London: