That's what my parents did. Busted when we snuck to my house (which was right by school) during lunch, which was supposed to be empty...mom came back for something she forgot. F'ing scarring - in a good way: exceptionally clear memory, but makes me laugh now. Not half as bad as getting caught masturbating. Shudder.

I can't wait until they add horsemeat over here, if it makes you feel any better.

It is: just takes awhile to cook right.

Isn't that the best reason for living in Alaska, as a general matter?

There is a paper trail, which is the best (and by best, I mean perversely hilarious) part about the whole thing. They just do not give a fuck.

During the WC group drawing for the '94 cup, Robin Williams kept calling him "Mr. Bladder," which cracked my 13 year old self up to no end. Blatter is the worst.

I've read the whole thing cover to cover. Multiple times. Please elaborate. Are you operating from the position that it is the Only True Word Of God(tm)? If so, which dogma are you subscribing to? B/c it's pretty f'ing easy to cherry pick just about any line to support any point...

Uh-oh. I'm late, for a very important date...

First pitch still better than that dye job.

The reason I mention the college is b/c I think it's relevant to showing school don't get the crazy out.

I went to this wedding for a friend of mine years and years ago. He's a doctor; the now wife is a nurse; he and I went to a very prestigious college together.

Also, grits. Grits are good.

It was on Jezebel or Gawker, and yeah, that's the right accent for Durham. Why it's being posted on another gawker platform as if it were new, I'm not sure.

Ball's shadow, but that is f'ing hilarious. Lad's pretty excited about playing alongside Costa.

Dzeko's was really, really nice, particularly for a lampost. About to only way to get that ball through.

That was sexy, but Henderson's to Raheem was better.

If you wanna hang out, you've got to take her out.

I like the super-heavy cardboard cover covers.

Yes. We never had enough money for a trapper keeper (sigh), but I used to get one fancy ass mechanical pencil every year and a ton of lead, not to mention those brand spankin new, college-ruled, spiral notebooks. Going to office depot now, which I still get to do b/c I work for myself, still makes me happy (except for…

Didn't even require Raheem to take a touch. W/ the off foot, too.