I’ve never liked Jennifer Aniston. There. I said it. She was the worst Friend (yes, worse than Ross) and her presence in Office Space took something away from what was otherwise a perfect movie. I don’t think she can act. There. Said that, too.

But oh man, having the time and money to spend three hours at the gym everyday with a personal trainer?

Fuck that shit. I’m sorry. I am just so sick of the arbitrary nature of staying employed.

Well, there it is right there.

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…

If you’re going to riff off Lemonade, bring your fucking A-game.

Your response is 100% on point.

This is what I don’t get about Amy doing this.

You mean, you projecting your own feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing onto a child? Yeah, we can all see what you’re commenting on.

Are you guys keeping a running list of all the adjective phrases Jezebel has used to describe Trump? And if so, will you be releasing that list at any point? Please say yes.

While the ad may be funny, he’s one of the primary reasons light rail was defeated in Austin.

I enjoyed that probably more than I should have.

I consider myself a freelance brand ambassador for the combination of bong rips and pots of strong black coffee.

Uh, I hate to break it to you, but a 10 year old will pick up technology and succeed with it even if they never saw a tablet until they were 9. It’s not raw technical aptitude that drives success. Plenty of studies have been done on child development that show that cooperative play, impulse control, and creativity are…

Yeah, I gotta say, I hate to be that person, but here goes nothing: I limit my kids’ screen time to three hours a week. Total. And frankly, I have plenty of time for a shower or whatever, because they’ve learned how to entertain themselves without a screen. I may not be raising the best of digital natives but I’ve…

You make it sound like parenting was impossible before tablets.

Really? I like Biden but I think he would be too easily goaded into a name calling contest with Trump. I have a lot of issues with Hillary on a policy level but I don’t think there’s anyone better to face Trump. She’s the most level headed person I’ve ever seen and since Trump’s misogyny seems to have been one of the…

Yeah unfortunately not outdated where I come from. People are shocked when I explain it isn’t a neutral term but gestures TO MULES. Sometimes people are dumb, sometimes they are racist, sometimes both! But Ivanka got a great education and is not dumb, so I guess we know where that leaves her.

Kids really are terrifying. My mom used to tell my brother and me that she was terrified of him when he was a baby.

I will preface this with the fact that unnatural movements freak me out. A lot.