...and I look down to see the tip of my finger, sliced on the bias...

I would be honored. :)

Ah, yes, another wonderful part of the whole secret menu process: the customer realizing that it's not actually a regular drink on our menu, and thusly that it requires that every little costly variance be accounted for. "What? Why's it so expensive?! A vanilla bean frap doesn't cost that much!" Right, because the…

THE CAPTAIN CRUNCH FRAPPUCINO. Just reading those successive four words gives me phantom pains.