i’m sad people don’t get that you actually answered her question

Hello. I’m not American. Can someone tell me why America thought it was a good idea to make a functionally illiterate man with severe personality disorders the President of the United States of America?

forcibly turned away by protesters Friday when she attempted to enter a DC middle school

I went over to Breitbart to see the comment section on this. (Never go to the comment section on Breitbart.)

I love the Politico article that says “he has been surprised that government can’t be run like his business”

PC Master Race, and turned OFF godrays? Why man?
Yes, it’s artificial, but I liked the effect which made things look hazy, like they would be in a dust-bowl post-war atmosphere.

On second thought maybe Hillary Clinton would have made a better president. I have spoken.

As a Canadian, I am fairly expert on how to incorporate snowflakes into your day to day style. In this scenario, I have to give it up to Will Arnett; not just for choosing appropriate footwear but more importantly for the classic squinty ah ah there’s snow in my eyeballs expression, which elevates the look with…

Thank you.

Trump is reported to care excessively about the appearance of his staffers.

When I was in restaurants, there were two holidays I worked EVERY time: Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve. TONS of money to be had (protip: that prix fixe you bought is incredibly high margin/made from a few assorted scraps OR the price has been jacked up WAY beyond what it normally is. Or both!), customers are…

February 7, 2017. The day public education died.

People get pissed with me for texting a paragraph instead of lots of shorter texts. Like either way it’s the same amount of information, wouldn’t you rather have your phone ring once instead of a dozen times?

As someone who went through a Holocaust memoir phase in middle school, I have to say that this sentence is pretty cool. Those books had a really strong effect on me.

I’d really like if more of the juvenile justice system were things like this. Throwing kids into detention centers rarely makes them into better citizens (surprise surprise); I’d much rather see a focus on service and education that helps tie kids into the community.

I am hoping that before they left, the Obama’s installed in the White House three animatronic ghosts programmed to visit Trump on Christmas Eve.

So it never occurred to anyone to ask the White House staff how to turn on the lights?

This was pitch perfect. I’m pretty sure the real Spicer would love a podium he could pick up and beat people with.

The sooner people realize McCarthy is in the top 5 of the funniest people who ever lived ever the better off we’ll all be.