Nobody learned a damn thing from Robert Jordan, did they?

The right amount in the right kind of taco - and the right genetic markers to make cilantro not taste like hand sanitizer - is one of life's simple joys.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and BLURGHGBLG A SINGLE MOLECULE OF CILANTRO IN THERE TOO HGHUGHHHH

I don't like to criticize people for harmlessly spending their free time on an dumb, needlessly elaborate internet joke.

He is. Check him out in the upcoming Badass 3: More Badasses.

I still haven't gotten to read any Prez yet, but I am absolutely in love with the fact that an unbelievably stupid idea from the 1970s can be reworked into such a disturbingly topical and relevant story in the…in however the hell we're abbreviating this decade. The 20teens?

But…but I constantly complain about Great Job Internet, even when it actually kind of makes me laugh! And I crack jokes about Leonard Pierce, even though he got fired like half a decade before I started posting here! What do you people WANT from me?!

I don't know what the hell this means, but I'm upvoting it so you guys don't stop thinking I'm cool.

NO YER SHTUNNED! You FUCK!

THE A.V. CLUB
… *long, shuddering sigh*

Holy shit. Like everything else about this line, that's an idea both unworkably insane and undeniably awesome. I'm in.

Hell, I don't even imagine MYSELF flossing.

Great Job, Internet!: check out this fan's mindblowingly intricate theory on who was phone.

READ THIS: an oral history of the construction of Live and Let Die's exploding inflatable Yaphet Kotto

Truly one of contemporary cinema's greatest moments.

*Roger Moore looks directly into camera and rolls his eyes like Jim from The Office, director somehow doesn't make him do another take*

"And here, Double-Oh Seven, is your automobile."
*unveils mustard yellow '68 Ford Pinto*

"Now look here, Double-Oh Seven. An ordinary smartphone…or so it would seem. Do pay attention."
*Galaxy Note 7 blows huge hole in the torso of a test dummy*
"That's shertainly one way to be put on a Do Not Call lisht."
"Oh, grow up, James."

I was joking about it being McTiernan's best, but I do genuinely love that movie.

Rian Johnson already gets a lifetime pass from me for Brick, but still deserves special commendation for getting a performance out of Bruce Willis that doesn't make him look like he just shotgunned a bottle of Prozac.