Because if anyone deserves to have their literary legacy perpetually stamped with "HOLY SHIT RACIST" for all eternity, it's the man who wrote a horror story where "the real monster" is the emancipation of American slaves. And I say that as a die-hard Lovecraft fan who has read very nearly everything he ever published.

We'll know for sure if the movie comes out before the heat death of the universe.

I binge-read huge chunks of Lovecraft's bibliography every several months or so, and have done so for years; "The Colour Out of Space" and "The Temple" are both among my all-time favorite works of short fiction. I also highlight every wacky racial slur I find in my epub copies of his stories - my favorites are…

It's too much power for one man, Mr. Wayne.

That just raises further questions!

Morrissey stomping around Amazon, screaming at everyone who gives his work a negative review, is a longtime dream of mine. I want it almost as badly as I want a Twitter flame war between him and Kanye West.

"You're gonna have to give him a minute, son. Morrissey needs to tweet about his entire life before he plays."

Fine, but it better be loaded with Chef Boyardee product placement.

Frackles!

My girlfriend and I have a running joke about a nonexistent FX original series titled Josh Holloway Is In This Show, in which he plays a fictionalized version of himself struggling through a series of increasingly depressing career missteps. Said joke mainly just consists of intoning "Josh Holloway Is In This Show;…

Remember that old writer's adage: show, don't tell, your antagonist being mutated by hyena DNA.

Three different series and a bajillion seasons, and not once did they go up against a killer who fell into a vat of chemicals or accidentally fused robot components to himself. That's just weak writing.

Precisely. It's bad enough that the show is so relentlessly self-important and serious, as if it portrays anything even remotely resembling reality. But what really kills it for me is the idea that when a rather large number of Americans hear terms like "schizophrenia" or "psychosis" or something similiar, shit like…

Oh, I've tried. But everybody's got at least one hot-button issue, and mine is network TV procedurals reducing mental illness to a cartoonish monster-of-the-week superpower. That's just me, though. Personal experience has a way of sucking the fun out of things like this.

I absolutely hate anything and everything related to the Criminal Mindsiverse, but I'm nonetheless intruiged by the fact that these shows are basically set in a comic book world without superheroes. That world has so many deranged, gimmick-driven murderers that the U.S. government had to establish a specialized task…

My immediate thought was "I'm here. I'm queer. And now I'm over here."

Yeah, but…Biff!

Martin Scorcese would like a word with you.

"Look, man, I had nothing to do with this shit."
— Jesus

Sometimes dead is bettah.