That’s 2017 for you. You assume the weirdest news you’re going to get out of Brazilian soccer is a convicted murderer being signed to a new contract, and then next thing you know you get some guy trying to test out Ehrlich’s maximum optimal jerk-off theories from Silicon Valley in the locker room shower.

The thing about shit-talking Waiters is that sometimes they spit in your food.

Today the Great Salt Lake is even saltier.

This fucking dipshit is an approved commenter, and I’m not.

Now both russ and George can leave the thunder for the lakers together at the same time hahahaha

C’mon how can they NOT make fun of Trumplethinskin’s Time cover?

WHY GOD WHY

Right? It shows the real LA in a way you never see on TV. No weird beach shit (who makes it to the beach if you live in echo park?!)

I can’t be the only person who watched this and thought “Did dudes really hold their dicks like that to piss back then?”

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

Of course, my doctor tells me it’s somewhat harder to make another baby once you have a foul ball.

You can always make another baby, but there’s only one foul ball.

Newsflash to the people of and around New York:

If you’re embarrassed about anything, it probably should be the fact that you willingly watched something only slightly more exciting than competitive house-painting.

If a tree is removed and no one was around to witness it, was it ever really there?

“Yeah, photo filters. That’s what happened to me too.”
-LeBron James