I am just going to leave this here and let it marinate in the shittiness of the past few months:

This is why, when people ask me if Trump is too corrupt to be President, or too fucking stupid to be President, I always answer, “Yes.”

Pffftttt. I didn’t spend countless days pirating music on dial-up Internet only to have some fancy “Institute” tell me my favourite file extension is dead.

First cop on the scene told him to put his Piscataway. But the guy’s a Hoboken so he just kept Wyckoff his Weehawken until he Nutley.

Ugh, the movie was so dumb, which is sad because this book is some of the smartest zombie/post-apocalypse storytelling out there. I’ve heard rumors that David Fincher of all people is possibly going to direct a follow-up, which sounds just crazy enough that I would be interested... But I can’t help but feel like this…

If I saw that goddamned bear looking through my door I’d be making brownies too.

Nah. They choked.

The good thing with an Alfa is that you won’t have to endure it for 290K miles.

The US has a long, sordid history of “rugged individualism” that is mostly bullshit. Politicians appeal to that idea and get people to go against their own best interests so the politicians can funnel money to their buddies instead of building a society.

The Penguins still have some tricks up their sleeves

For context of how shocking the 44/47 arrest figure is, Banks County is 93% white.

“We addressed an issue that was brought to our attention immediately. In the profession of law enforcement, issues will arise in every agency due to an essence of individuals being imperfect. One officer’s actions does not reflect the agency as a whole.”

Counterpoint:

I don’t know, I feel like we keep saying that about various Republicans and it keeps not being true.

Sad because you’re one of the 50 Caps fans out there, or sad because there’s nothing more fun (as a non-Caps fan) to watch than their unbelievable yearly playoff collapse?

As a fake internet attorney, let me preemptively address the knotty legal arguments from those who would ask “What about his right to free speech?”: Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot

I googled it just in case...!!!

The NBA would award an expansion franchise to Seattle. In order to keep the conferences balanced, Philadelphia would also be given an NBA franchise.

I’m not sure Americans could do that with our own anthem