Anyone that lives in a decent size city and orders Papa John’s, Domino’s, etc. over independent joints deserve what they get. Most cities have a decent pizza place, no one should ever have to subject themselves to this shit...

I don’t know what everyone’s talking about. This show is great. Maybe I hang out with a shitty crowd, but I know real world versions of these people and so the show rings true. It felt like a modern day classic Woody Allen thing.

If only he had a strong father figure in his life he would have stopped and made a two-handed bounce pass, which pass would have shown leadership to his teammates and inspired Porter to take a high percentage set shot. It’s too bad the kids watching the game won’t learn proper fundamentals.

“No really, after this visit, I’m thinking Trump might be right about putting a wall on a southern border.”

or there will be cold hell to pay, America.

Five For Fighting just got a bigger ovation than 3 Doors Down did playing an inauguration.

Whenever I cheat on my wife, I always blame the woman I slept with afterwards. “My wife is a wonderful woman whom I love dearly, and you made me cheat on her, you dirty whore. You ought to be ashamed!”

For a minute there Phil Jackson saw “Former Syracuse Star Melo Dies” and got super excited.

AT&T Center security has a similar problem with Tim Duncan, and always are keeping an eye on him when he’s in the arena, because of all the customers complaining of him lecturing them that, instead of spending all this money to watch a basketball game, they should invest it in a 5 year treasury note which, on…

It’s easy:

No shit? Wow. Brings a whole new level to that album. Just always assumed “Canadian band comes from Canada” and assumed it was the Vancouver of Douglas Coupland novels, etc.

Being forced to watch the White House orientation video must have been tough for him, since it doesn’t mention him. The part about sexual harassment in the workplace must have been uncomfortable.

One time, I forgot about a presentation I had in fourth grade. I didn’t research or read anything. Totally forgot about it for weeks. I did my best to wing it, but I only fooled the other idiot kids in the room, not my teacher. Every time Trump speaks, I hear that presentation.

On one hand, I think about how much America has done this to so many countries around he world (or really supported outright coups) so finally the US is getting a very small taste of it’s own medicine. On the other hand, I’m all like fuuuuuuck - I live here and am raising a family here. I don’t want this to be the…

I saw that earlier today, and I nearly flipped off my phone. That’s how pissed I was at their stupidity.

No

It’s hard to imagine Arizona without hockey. Next thing you know, they’re going to get rid of Louisiana’s curling team. Are none of our sacred institutions safe anymore? 

The Woodlands is what America would look like if the Germans won WWII

What a strange and wholly unconnected set of events!

“Artist’s rendering of White House transition of power. Image via Kensington Palace/The British Monarchy.”