I just can't get on board with anyone who gave a pet away because they thought they might be having a kid soon. That just speaks volumes to me about someone's character.

"Um, that's laughable. Beyoncé was already a star from her Destiny's Child days well before she and Jay Z got together. Of course, over the years her career skyrocketed, but I doubt anyone would seriously attribute any majority of her success to Jay Z simply because they were together at the time. For much of her…

I actually really like having comments on recipes. Yes, there's often nonsense from dummies who didn't follow the recipe, but I've also found a lot of good tips there. Sometimes a recipe hasn't been sufficiently tested, or there's a typo (does it really call for 3 tablespoons of salt, or should it be teaspoons), and…

BUT WHAT OF YOUR VOWS, JON

I kinda wish she had said instead "Have an unlimited amount of self-esteem."

"Rest in peace, Colleen Donaghy. You were 87 years young, 14 in demon years, and you went out of this world like you came into it: wearing a hat."

I'm not surprised that the barista is a teenager. I'm really happy with this new bunch of teenagers coming up. The ones I know are really brave and stand up for other people who need help. I know it's fashionable to rag on the younger folks, but I won't, because I think they're great.

This is why SCOTUS should have term limits.

"KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORNBILLS FOR A START." IT'S SO OBVIOUS!

That's not a liberal pathology.

BTW I am not 100% sure about the Marie Antoinette blushing thing. She wore hats like whoa. Here she is accessorizing her headgear with what would later become the Hope Diamond:

I have had C. diff about 11 times, which is a kind of diarrhea that causes an abdominal writhing like your intestines have turned into snakes and they're attempting to have an orgy, but also they're really drunk on vodka-redbulls and they don't have any flashlights. At one point I was literally spending twelve hours a…

If male nurses get so distracted by the female body, they may wish to reconsider their chosen profession...

actor makes a comment that was treated as a joke at the time and was later reported as a joke.

Nope.

Quiet, everyone! White man talking!

That was remarkably shitty of that reporter, not least because the point of Emily Blunt's quote was not the Tom Cruise of it all, but rather the preposterously one dimensional parts available to women in many gigantic movies.