I call bullshit. They know that nobody is going to actually do this, but now if somebody is raped after not jumping this ridiculous hurdle they’ve contractually agreed to, the show will be somehow less liable.

His rep whispered: “He looks like a movie star.”

It sounds like this device in particular is a model that has since been discontinued, so hopefully you’re safe with the ones at your shop. Super scary, though! Replacing my soda stream cartridge already made me nervous...I don’t need this in my head!

I want a fistful of whatever pills this makeup artist is on.

My original, giddy thought when reading this headline was that Jenny Slate was starring in an adaptation of the wonderful Rainbow Rowell book by the same name. Now I’m quite disappointed, although I’m sure this will be a delight.

But it would be SO HOT if he rescued us from this administration.

I’ve been where you are and can assure you resistance is futile.

Hah! Pretty sure that’s actually Tony Romo. I’m sure that butt barnacle wishes this was a picture of him!

Ugh, this Rihanna story arc is really starting to bum me out. I was nervously appreciating the internet’s embrace of “Thickanna” last week, but now I just feel really bad for the scrutiny.

I don’t wanna be cynical, but is this some clever ploy to set your kid up financially with tax breaks?

This is so true. When I realized that hangovers actually chemically alter my brain to make the constant murmur of self-doubt get turnt waaayy up, it was a revelation. Even if a few extra units of booze juice feels like it’s helping ease anxiety in those work/social situations, it’s 100% not worth the next day bad…

This makes total sense. My therapist also allowed me to forgive myself for chronic procrastination by assuring me that it’s an evolved skill to only expend energy on doing what is absolutely necessary at any given moment. These two theories combined make my broken brain feel like a fine-tuned machine.

Eh, people have the right to get married for the wrong reasons. They also have a right to make a buck off of it if the world wants to tune in. As someone who did tune it, I don’t feel cheated that it didn’t last. And as someone who is married, I don’t feel that our union is cheapened by this sham marriage. I actually…

Ocean Shores is a low key paradise.

Well said. And making a movie is not the same commitment of time as reading a book or watching a film. Once every year and a half ain’t bad!

Right? This story was exactly what I didn’t know I desperately needed this evening. Good humaning, humans.

Holy shit, the text messages. What a complete tool. Bless whoever endured these for historical preservation...that’s a number that needs to be blocked.

Wow, did not know this. Fuck that shit. I guess Queen Ri does endure some of the pain of us mere mortals.

She’s definitely gained a bit of weight this year. I feel really uneasy typing that, which probably just reflects my own messed up body stuff... Something tells me RiRi is just fine, thanks.

Ruby, no. Taylor’s political (in)actions were all about brand, which is within her rights, but to shit on someone for publicly giving a damn is just pathetic. Team nobody on this.