You can't trust anyone these days.

Maybe they are all $500 000 001-aires and they simply rounded up?

Well, just finished reading the last account. If anyone needs me, I'll be under my desk in a fetal position for the rest of the day.

Oh. My. God. That last one just broke my heart.

I know! I'm happy she's making a living from her work, but I so selfishly wish she would still regularly update HAV.

Yea, it was yellow and grey, tea length, and less than a hundred bucks. I live it and still wear it all the time. My mom hates it and has a hissy fit every single time I wear it. I am immature as fuck so I wear it around her every chance I get.

My dress was a sample. I told everyone when they complimented me on it because I am my Nannie and I'm genetically required to tell people when I got a deal. "THANKS, I GOT IT FOR A THIRD OF THE REGULAR PRICE BECAUSE IT WAS THE SAMPLE EVERYONE TRIED ON."

I'm not anti-gun. I grew up in a place with guns. I understand their utility. But the reason I've never bought one — besides the difficulty of getting a CHL license in New York — is that it's another thing someone can wrestle away from me and use against me. I just don't think it's a solution to the larger issue.

Is Atlanta located in the land of God, guns, grits, and gravy?** If so, I know some heathen mastutbators.

As a representative of the "American Heartland" woman, in my forties, I hate to break it to M. Hucks, but we've been smoking, swearing, fucking, and drinking in the flyover states for quite a while now. Wearing pants, voting, showing our ankles, the whole shebang. It's like we think we're people or something.

Someone broke Megyn Kelly and I'm loving every. fucking. second.

This is something I'm slowly realizing. My life dream was to be married to a great guy with an amazing career and I'd just take care of him. That was it. All I wanted. And then at 30 and a failed 9 year relationship I realized that it wasn't going to happen. So I went to grad school and started doing the types of…

The woman is my goddamn idol. I mean, I still don't want to be married, but in principle I love her.

I went wedding dress shopping with my pal and her other bridesmaids recently and one of the girls was a total asshole while we were shopping. She had just gotten married so OF COURSE SHE IS A FUCKING EXPERT ON ALL THINGS BRIDAL despite the fact that the maid of honor and another woman in the party are also married and…

I'm just going to share this story from last Saturday. A good money-making night- the restaurant is packed, we're trying to turn over tables. Of course half of them are fucking campers. So when another 8 top of 40 something year olds roll in, I'm begging my manager to give them to me. Bright eyed and with an imaginary…

He goes on to explain that every time a "waitress" does something he doesn't like, he takes a dollar off the stack and puts it back in his wallet. According to him, this guarantees EXCELLENT "waitress" behavior.

You did that poached egg thing last week, C.A., and I am just now feeling the gagging ease up.

P.S. You really should take up eating meat again. Millions of people starve to death every day and would gladly trade places with you.