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Lou Holtz: afjodkanfawoe afsndoainf afodna HAHA

Winnipeg's opening ceremony on Friday was pretty touching as well...

"I have a Marlins car and the largest collection of Marlins memorabilia probably in the United States."

[Meanwhile, on OkCupid]

The Dodgers, Angels, and Rangers have to be the top three on the board right now. Who ya got?

Me: Dad, did you see this guy that can remember the endings to the last 60 World Series?

I thought you got unbanned?

Your new starting quarterback looks like a winner, or a man about to make a scene at Mapco because they stopped beer sales.

Full disclosure... I googled NBA Head Coaches kneeling and Spoelstra was the only current one that popped up.... Just sayin...

The look on his face was unbelievable, and I am not sure who was more surprised, him seeing us, or us seeing him in his preferred method of self-pleasure (I've never been a kneel-down guy, so it was very odd to me).

Douglas-Roberts claims he's making the change because he feels more comfortable in smaller shorts when he plays defense, rather than out of some misguided nostalgia or precious, twee impulse.

Pete Carroll's Iraq strategy caught on with the NBA!?!?!?

Carroll is trembling with intensity. His eye contact is so powerful that you can't look away from him.

Guys, they just don't want bears being attracted to the arenas. I think that's pretty reasonable. JEEZE.

Every Son Ever: I think I could take you, dad...

http://deadspin.com/5052185/george…

those are literally the same looks my parents had at the kitchen table when the cop dropped me off at my house after I got busted for drinking in high school....