Anyone who has a dog or a cat will tell you that these animals experience emotion and pain/pleasure just like you and me.

Sweet! I'm going to get access to the codes and go up and swim in their pool and sleep in their beds. It'll be the best prank ever!! My friends will be so jealous and will give me the chair close to the girls' table in the lunchroom.

Stronger jaws than a baby with one tooth? I don't think so.

Because they receive records of what you do on your phone from the cell towers, which is how they bill you, which is as it has always been.

according to the ratings, no they do not.

wranglers - rough on the sack.

that is revenue per user, and revenue is not profit.

I saw an article the other day saying condos/apartments/whatever in the Burj Khalifa are now less than my mortgage on a monthly basis, so I say "YES" to more pointless empty sky towers.

Look at the contextual ads: Teeth whitening, dental care and turbo tax. Apparently Facebook thinks you are poor and have bad teeth.

Seriously. "Hey, Hacky Dee, you got second merit raise this month? I thought they only awarded those once a year. Good job I guess! "

Fireworks really need to be improved if my dinky town of 9000 has the same red firework balls as Singapore does.

No, i'm pretty sure my friend Johnny is the closest living relative to the elephant. He's got big ears, lumbers around, and like peanuts.

that a species can NEVER evolve into another species

I should tell this to my dog. That lazy sucker only stands up to pee, and sleeps the rest of the day. Walk around some dog, and add one year to your life.

A loan for 100% of the value of the property, ie no down payment.

So 8 spiders is far too few and I consume many more per year? That explains my weight gain....

No it is not. A 'proper' English sentence contains a subject and predicate. Writing buffalo a bunch of times is a sentence fragment.

I find Super Mario Galaxy incredibly boring. Does it get any better past the first world? I think it is just too slow and too much upside down.

I was just making a joke, but I do think that expectations of "fairness" in tuning traffic lights prevents them from being optimal, and when I mean optimal, i mean putting the most cars to the most popular destinations at the expense of others.

Traffic lights, when they're timed and tuned correctly....