How many of the wishes were "Fuck off"?

The worst wedding I've probably ever been to (and really, I haven't been to any others that were genuinely horrible) was my cousin's. I was one of 8 bridesmaids, which is too many fucking bridesmaids, and the wedding was a traditional Catholic one, so it was about an hour and a half long. So much standing and kneeling…

A friend asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was hesitant, because of the expense. She assured me that only expense I would incur was half the plane fare, shoes & accessories. And she doesn't want a shower or bachelorette. Ok, starts out good - we picked the dresses, she paid. We were told to buy gold accessories and…

I want to see a movie about this wedding.

I went to a wedding of a former friend from college (her wedding is the reason we are former friends) along with our huge group of 20+ friends. I was going to attend with another friend from our group, so instead of us both sending back in the RSVPs, I sent back my RSVP with a plus one thinking it would be okay since…

Wow if you did not hit her with the grocery sack full of perfectly shaped river rocks, you are a better person than I.

Hat-Themed wedding.

My cousin's second wedding took place in a local park. There was no seating. A few homeless people wandered through and didn't look too impressed. A friend beeped out Here Comes The Bride on a small Casio keyboard.

I'm not married, and I've never been to a total horrorshow wedding, but at my parents' wedding, my mom watched a woman in a polyester jumpsuit (apparently the date of a friend) stuff an entire wheel of cheese from the buffet table into her purse and walk out.

I have so many questions, Ziggy.

The 5 day wedding "weekend" in which the bride handed me a grocery sack and ordered me to collect 250 perfectly shaped river rocks.

That whole video (this is just the intro) is filled with SO MUCH "I Don't Give a Fuck" gif potential.

Yes! You have no idea how many times I have watched that 1988 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship video.

IT'S TRUE. On one hand people always make fun of pet lovers for anthropomorphizing their furry friends too much. But knowing that your furry friend can't rationalize where the fuck you are/comprehend that you aren't coming back is the biggest incentive I've ever had to be careful or responsible with my own life.…

You are so very, very right.

I've always thought that everyone, EVERYONE, should have to work a retail/service job for a year. The kind of crap you experienced with Bike Babe would disappear. Or at least that's my theory.

At my lowest worst time, I decided not to die because I was like, "who the fuck would take care of my adorable wonderful fluffy cat? And would he find me? Would he think I just abandoned him? Would anyone love him as much as I love him?" Pets can legitimately save lives.

Work rant ahead

white cheddar cheez its are the best!

Has everyone seen the trailer for Big Eyes?