Seriously, he sounds like he’s running for junior high class president with the amount of ridiculous things he is promising. “I promise, if I win, homework will be optional, tests will be scored by a friend of your choosing, lunches will be catered by Per Se and school will only be three days per week.”

Way to talk about your wife’s affair in a statement asking people to respect your privacy, asshole. You do not deserve an amazing name like Tullian Tchividjian.