Kevin: “Come to the game Leo. The Islanders have a 19-year-old phenom who isn’t afraid to take it up the ice.”

Hi Doctor Nick!

This is the best thing I’ve read all day.

When Herman Franks managed the San Francisco Giants in the late 1960s, he would become exasperated whenever he tried to communicate with Japanese relief pitcher Masanori Murakami.

I’ve enjoyed you here today.

agreed, it’s pretty much common knowledge at this point that the Stunner is the only real move and the rest of it is just a bunch of sweaty men in tights pretending to fight each other

well, it’s not

that one was fake because he’s not a wrestler. all the other stunners are real and the wrestlers can’t do anything about it. it’s a fucked up business

yeah it’s just a bunch of fake moves, and then the Stunner, which is real. i don’t get it either

this is fucking dumb dude. everyone knows that only the Stunner is real

+1

...wait

When reached for comment, the pig simply said, “Oh, dear. Oh, d-d-d-d-dear!”

Nah, no Shake Shack. I did always appreciate they had the option of gluten-free pizza though (for my Celiac wife).

Lose-Lose-Lose*

Is that 12 rebounds in any 15 minute period of a game or 12 rebounds for a player who has played 15 minutes or less in a game? If it’s the former than it’s very impressive. But if it’s the latter, then all the famous Spurs you mentioned would have rarely ever played less than 15 minutes in a game.

Jesus tapdancing Christ, Deadspin; the guy was asked a question and he answered it with effusive praise for Heyward, whom I daresay he knows a bit better than you or I do, and provided a charitable theory for why Heyward would prefer the Cubs (other than the real reason which was “Star Wars money in 2018”), and you…

Yes, this article written by an American on an American site featuring a video filmed somewhere in the United States of America is using Fahrenheit.

Says the guy who’s obviously never been to prison...

Truly dreadful reporting.

you don’t actually mention the Jamaican reggae superstar’s name.