So Stephens took the high road and you wrote a bunch of emails that look like they could have been written by an angry 12 year-old, and you actually think that by writing this and copying those emails and publishing them, we’re going to take your side?

Don’t bother. Dismiss him and move on.

Whenever someone betrays their ignorance of that widely known fact I know I’m dealing with someone who only started paying attention to politics in 2016.

Assassin’s Creed players not realizing that the Animus no longer requires its user to have a direct genetic relationship to whomever they play, and hasn’t needed it since. Like.

Grill sweet Italian sausage, cut into 4 inch lengths. Wrap length of hot sausage in slice of white American cheese. Wash down with cheap American beer of your choice.

The whole “American/Velveeta/Whatever ‘cheese’ is NOT cheese” thing is one of the arguments that really grinds my gears. Of course it’s cheese. It is literal cheese that has been processed into a form useful for particular purposes. While it would be a bit pedantic to point out that all types of cheese are pretty…

I’d like to find the marketing turd who came up with “powered by” (as a replacement for “sponsored by” or “presented by”) to describe something’s main advertiser and kick them in the privates.

Very fair. In hindsight, a failed crack at ‘California-style pizza? What’s that, chorizo with avocado?’ would also have been a swing and a miss.

i found one. im glad he isnt running for any political office though.

I wanna munch.

They’re going to call the merged company Steak and Onions, Inc.

Does this sort of thing usually work for you? 

I have never seen Dunning-Kruger displayed in such compact fashion before. 

Uh, maybe you don’t understand that Hannah was contrasting her father (who is thoughtful and organized and warms up his coffee mug) with herself (who is so scattered that she lost all her spoons and is now down to a grapefruit spoon). 

By “mob rule” he means “poor and colored people”

You’re a fucking idiot. 

You sad, sad thing.

This really isn’t aging that well (well other than the fact that Schumer is a feckless putz) now that it’s looking more and more like the Dems will pick up 40 seats in the house.

“VEIDT SCIENCE”

I wish Gawker would adopt stronger editorial policies when it comes to their use of hyperbolic headlines. This article discusses a single appointment to a Witmer’s transition team.